Once in America a plane crashed, only a monkey who was traveling in the plane was left alive. Fortunately the monkey was intelligent enough to understand our language and reply in actions. The officials went to see the monkey in the hospital and had a talk with the monkey.
: "When the plane took off what were the travelers doing?"
: "Tying their belts"
: "What were the airhostesses doing?"
: "Saying Hello! Good morning!"
: "What were the pilots doing?"
: "Checking the system"
: "What were you doing?"
: "Looking for my people"
: "After 10' minutes what were the travelers doing?"
: "Having beverages and snacks"
: "What were the airhostesses doing?"
: "Serving the travelers"
: "What were the Pilots doing?"
: "Handling the steering"
: "What were you doing?"
: "Eating & throwing"
: "After 30 minutes what were the travelers doing?"
"Some were sleeping and some were reading"
: "What were the airhostesses doing?"
: "Make up"
: "What were the pilots doing?"
: "Handling the steering"
: "What were you doing?"
: "Nothing"
: "Just before plane crash what were the travelers doing?"
: "All were sleeping"
: "What were the pilots doing?"
: "Handling the air hostess"
: What were you doing?
: Handling the steering ???
Honesty
A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?"
"Of course. What may I do for you?"
"Well, I bought an expensive! Electronic hair dryer that is well over the Customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?"
"I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie."
"With your honest face, Father, no one will question you."
When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her. The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"
"From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare."
The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?"
"I have a marvelous little instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused."
Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father - - Next!"
Sunday, October 9, 2011
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Men's Logic
A man and his wife were in a court for their divorce case.
The Problem was who should get custody of the child.
The wife screamed and jumped up and said: "Your Honor. I brought The child into the world with all the pain and labor.
The child Should be in my custody."
The judge turned to the husband and said: "What do you have to Say in your defense?"
The man sat for a while contemplating. ..then slowly rose. "Your Honor... If I put a dollar in a Pepsi Vending Machine and a Pepsi Comes out...
Whose Pepsi is it... The machine's or mine?"
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